7 Helper Syndrome Symptoms: Are You Helping Too Much?

You are always there when someone needs you. You can’t help it. Nobody has to ask you – helping is a matter of course for you. So natural that you completely put your own well-being and desires aside until you give yourself up. And that doesn’t end well. are you helping too much We show typical helper syndrome symptoms. The more of these apply to you, the more likely you have impostor syndrome.

1. “I MUST help”

Helping others is a wonderful virtue. For people who have developed helper syndrome, however, it has almost become a compulsion. The urge to help is extremely strong and overwhelms everything else. Personal concerns and appointments are forgotten. Suddenly only the new task counts: Helping the other person.

The Danger: Helper syndrome can keep you from leaving unhealthy relationships. Your compassion may even keep you trapped in toxic relationships. Listen to your gut feeling!

2. Helper Syndrome Symptoms: “I Feel Guilty”

Imagine the following situations: You have planned a vacation or your best friend is moving at short notice and you don’t have time. For people with pronounced helper syndrome, this is almost unbearable. Anyone with helper syndrome feels incredibly guilty when they can’t help someone out. You feel like you failed. Even if that’s not a problem for others and your best friend will surely find enough other movers – you feel bad.

3. “What I need is not as important as what others need”

Setting yourself aside – that is the great strength of helper syndrome. You always see the others. You feel what they need. Your empathy is incredibly strong. Standing up for you and your needs is difficult.

Setting yourself aside – that is not only a strength, but also a great danger at the same time. Because only if you feel good about yourself can you be a real asset to others. If you think about others often, don’t forget to schedule enough me-time as well. Here we have revealed how you can find more time for yourself in everyday life.

4. “I’ll help, even if that’s not wanted”

You sense that help is needed and boom – you are always ready, dropping everything. Nobody has to ask you for it. You help, even if that is not desired. Excessive helping without being asked – this also speaks for a helper syndrome.

With all due respect to your zest for action – forced help doesn’t always feel good. Because even though you have the very best of intentions and only want to give good things, it can sometimes appear to the other person as if you are imposing yourself.

5. “I want to be the savior”

Constantly helping others – that sounds completely selfless at first. But: None of us acts completely altruistically. The pronounced helping has a small benefit for us: We feel needed. We believe we play an important role. Being the savior in need – that’s a nice feeling. But this desire can also make you neglect yourself.

6. Helper Syndrome Symptoms: “I will solve your problems”

It doesn’t matter whether it’s your partner’s financial problems or a colleague’s overtime – you take over! You take on the difficulties of others and look for a solution until you find it.

But be careful: this is not always what you want. Sometimes this behavior can alienate others. True to the motto “I can do it myself.” Because there is a catch with the helper syndrome: whoever saves others is the hero. The other person inevitably feels inferior. That’s why people with helper syndrome don’t always get the recognition they should get for their well-intentioned helping.

7. “I don’t feel good until I help”

A typical cause of helper syndrome is low self-confidence. For many, trying to help others is an attempt to build their own self-esteem. Suddenly there is a purpose, a purpose. And that gives strength!

But please never forget: true self-confidence comes from within and has nothing to do with external factors. Even if you haven’t provided perfect help, you can appreciate yourself! If you only feel valuable when you solve problems for others, it is very likely that you have developed helper syndrome.

Conclusion: Now you know the most important helper syndrome symptoms. However, every symptom is completely normal and healthy to some extent. Of course, wanting to help others is not always a bad thing. But on the contrary. How beautiful the world would be if everyone would just support each other a little more.

But this should always be kept within healthy limits so that you don’t neglect yourself. You can only help others if you are doing well yourself. When you’re completely stressed out and overworked, you can’t focus on other people’s needs.

Only you can judge whether you really suffer from helper syndrome. If so, and you’ve identified yourself in some of the helper syndrome symptoms, then it makes sense to investigate your behavior further. A good place to start is the book My Journey to Myself by Sabrina Fleisch. With exciting tests and unusual questions, this book will help you to see why you are who you are. And it shows ways in which you can consciously get used to new behaviors. Among the many books in this area, this is an absolute purchase recommendation.